The Revenge Of Fang
by Rob-A-Don
Summary: The Sequel to the greatest script ever written....


A LONG TIME AGO IN GALAXY NOT SO FAR, FAR AWAY……….  
  
(STAR WARS THEME)  
  
  
  
  
  
EPISODE III  
  
THE REVENGE   
OF  
FANG  
  
IT HAS BEEN FIVE YEARS SINCE CAAIN AND AMAZING DESTROYED THE HELLSTAR AND BROUGHT PEACE AND BALANCE TO THE UNIVERSE. NO ONE HAS HEARD WORD OF THE EMPIRE'S VILE DESTRUCTIVE WAYS SINCE THEN. AFTER THE DESTRUCTION, ANOTHER TUNGSTEN KNIGHT HAD EMERGED. CAPTAIN AMAZING HAS TAKEN THE ROLE OF APPRENTICE UNDER CAAIN SHROUD. ONLY TOGETHER WILL THEIR POWER BE GREAT ENOUGH TO FOREVER FREE THE GALAXY.  
  
MEANWHILE, FAR AWAY THE LASTANT'S EMPIRE IS REBUILDING AS FANG PLOTS HIS REVENGE. HIS HATRED HAS CONSUMED HIS MIND, AND HE HAS BEEN DRIVEN EVEN FURTHER INSANE. HIS ONLY CONSULATION WILL COME WITH THE DEATH OF CAAIN, AND THE HUMILATION OF AMAZING.  
  
WITH CHEN WOO FANG AND THE LASTANT BACK, THE REBELLION IS IN STORE FOR A FINAL SHOWDOWN THAT WILL FOREVER CHANGE THE FACE OF POWER IN THE GALAXY…  
  
THE FUTURE RESTS IN THE HANDS OF TWO MEN, BUT THEY ALONE CANNOT PROTECT US…   
  
  
  
  
ACT I  
  
3024 AD  
Aboard one of the Rebellions main ships which looks a lot like the vessel Chronorabus…  
  
(Aboard the ship Private Arch Quazar's ship is being attacked by an unknown source)  
(Red and Green emergency lights and sirens going off)  
  
Private Arch Quazar: Major we need to notify mission control!!!  
Major Obese: Then do it damn it don't just sit there on your fat ass!  
Quazar: Ok Major! AHHHHH!!(Shot of Quazar running to notify mission control and slips on Major Obese's chicken wing)  
Obese: You stupid ass!! I was gonna eat that!  
Quazar: Sorry sir! I'm sure you were going to eat that! (shot of him getting back up, throwing the chicken wing at Obese,(Obese catches chicken wing in his mouth) and running to the radio) Come in mission control! Come in mission control! We need you! Mission Control: * fzzzz Hello Mission Control fzzzz*   
Quazar: Mission control we are under attack by an unknown source!   
Mission Control: *fzzzzz Well Sucks fzzzz for you* fzzzzzz *Roger out* fzzzzzz   
Quazar: WHAT!!!???!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…………..  
  
(Shot of Captain Obese eating)  
  
Quazar: What the Hell?? (looking at Video screen)Major Fat Ass… I mean Obese We are receiving a transmission!  
Obese: Well lets hear it!  
Transmission form Unknown Character(Fang): Ha ha ha ha ha you little weaklings you will go down to the depths of the galaxy ha ha ha ha ha and soon I will have my revenge!!!!! HA, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!   
  
(Shot of Unknown ship shooting Quazar's ship and ship catching on fire and crashing)  
  
Unknown Character(Fang): HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!  
  
(shot of Unkown ship flying away)  
  
5 days later…  
  
(In the Chambers of the Bacterial Senate)  
  
Senator Skywalker: (standing)Welcome and Good evening to you all! Are all senate members here?   
Senator Conrad: Good now to business, one of our ships was shot down about five days ago. The ship that shot it down sent a transmission before attacking it. We have this transmission on tape. We will play it for you now. Please have it quiet and we will start the tape soon.  
  
(Shot of Senator Skywalker putting a tape recorder on the table and pressing play. Transmission is same line that Fang says before blowing up the ship)  
  
Senator Tubby: (Strong voice)Well that voice could only be one person…  
Senator Cheung: No Fat ass it is not the Waiter!  
  
(Shot of Commander Batron Busting through the door)  
  
Commander Batron: Your right ya imigrant it is not a waiter so calm down fat ass! That voice is from only one man and that man is Chen Woo Fang!!!!!   
Senator Cortex: What! Ohh no! They were destroyed five years ago, the threat of destruction is gone, that is fact. Besides the empire is too powerful for us to destroy! His Porn-Trooper is way too strong!!  
Senator Gamblink: Cortex is right Commander they are way to powerful and if Fang Strikes soon we wont have a chance.  
Batron: Your right, we can't! Our forces would be destroyed after the first sign of resistance. But we know two me who can try! Captain Amazing and Caain Shroud! And we need to get a hold of those two as soon as possible so Tubby put down the sandwich and go make some phone calls! We need there help!  
  
(Shot of Senator Tubby putting down the sandwich and running to the telephone)  
  
*Phone Conversation between Tubby and operator*  
  
Senator Tubby: Is this the Rebellion Operator?  
Operator: Yes it is!  
Senator Tubby: Operator I need sandwich…I mean I need you to make a call to both Captain Amazing and Caain Shroud and tell them to report to the office of the Council man! It is and EMERGENCY!! The Rebellion is in grave Danger!!!  
Operator: Yes sir I'll be right on that. And thank you for using 1-800-REBELLION  
  
(shot of tubby running back to the chambers and sitting down)  
  
Batron: Well? Did you make the calls???  
Senator Tubby: (talking with mouth full of food) Uhhh No but I told the operator to call them for me they should be at the councilmen's office in about 2 hours.  
Batron: Good Job Fat ass I'll buy you some lunch.  
  
TWO HOURS LATER  
  
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)  
  
(Shot door opening)  
  
(Shot of Caain Shroud entering the Senate, who is dressed in traditional Tungsten robes.)  
  
Councilmen: Welcome Caain. Where is Captain Amazing?  
Caain Shroud: I don't know you're the ones that got a hold of him.  
  
(Shot of Captain Amazing coming through the Door)  
  
Councilmen: Welcome Captain is a Pleasure to have you here.  
Captain Amazing: Sorry I'm late councilmen the Decadium Sparrow got caught in Traffic.  
Councilmen: Welcome back men as you know you don't know why you have been called here. You were called here because Fang has attacked!  
Amazing: Damn it. That moron Balaca screwed this up!  
Caain: Of course!! This explains the dark shadow that has come over the Porsche in these last months.  
Councilmen: Uh, ok, Porsche, right, whatever… any ways, you did get rid of them several years ago but they are back and we believe that Fang and Lastant are seeking revenge against the Rebellion. And so that is where you two come in. We need your great skills once again Caain and Amazing. So…will you help us?  
Amazing: I…I don't know, Caain? Am I ready as a Tungsten knight?  
Caain: Your training is almost complete. We must face this threat.  
Amazing: Together?  
Caain: If fate has written…  
Councilmen: Wait? Are they expected to do this alone?  
Senator Gamblink: No They will not be expected to complete this mission alone.  
Senator Skywalker: We have assembled an elite team of rebellion leaders. Please send them in,…………… Balaca the Down Syndrome Wookie, Princess Layon Orgasminia, and Spaz Forlord.  
  
(when each is said, a shot of that person is shown)  
  
Amazing: Humm Looks good; very good…  
Caain: (turning to Amazing) There is something you must know before we leave, Princess Layon…………  
  
(sounds of laser fire outside of the council. All the men turn and see rebellion soldiers being thrown to the ground. Pan over to see Fang entering the room)  
  
Fang: Ha ha ha!! Here you all are…Did you think you could so easily destroy me? Prepare to face death!!   
  
(Shot of Caain and Amazing standing up, taking out Ubernoodles, Balaca taking out blaster, Layon taking out blaster, and Spaz taking out his)  
  
Fang: Oh crap!! (running out the door)  
Caain: Fang!! (running out after him, turns and yells to them) Don't follow me, I must do this alone.  
Amazing: Caain!! Wait!! Together-  
Caain: No, it is my destiny to face Fang. Remember your training, and have faith in yourself, and the Porsche.  
Amazing: NOOOO!!!!!  
  
(Shot of door closing and Amazing running up and pounding on it screaming for Caain to reconsider)  
  
Balaca: (to Spaz) how stupid. He needs to turn da doo knob. Hahahaha, stupid man, look at the stupid man.  
Amazing: It's locked you stupid piece of mutated elephant dung.  
Balaca: Does that taste good? Can Balaca have some?  
  
(back to Caain and Fang, outside of Fang's Vessel)  
  
Fang: I see you have followed me. That's too bad…(pulls out Ubernoodle)  
Caain: You'll not have your way with me, Fang!!  
Fang: eww, that's sick dude.  
Caain: wha, oh.. SHUT UP!!  
Fang: Haha…(attacks Caain and battle ensues, eventually cuts back to the senate where they are working to get the door open)  
  
Balaca: No door will hold Balaca!! YAAAAA!!!!!! (jumps at it and falls on his ass) AGGGHHH!!! My ribs…  
Layon: Let me try…(stepping on Balaca to get over there)  
Balaca: uhhhhhh…  
Layon: (gets her hair pin out and starts trying to pick the lock)  
  
(back to Caain and Fang's battle for a while, then back to senate lock situation)  
  
Layon: Ahh there, that's it!  
(Shot of everyone running to get out, and hitting Balaca on the way, as he was getting up)  
(Caain and Fang battling until Fang has Caain where he wants him)  
  
Caain: Uhhh, destroy me!!  
Fang: Not now, you are still useful to the emperor…have you ever wanted to be an intern?  
Caain: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! (Fang hits him and knocks him out)  
  
(Shot of Fang's ship leaving blasting off as the Rebel team arrives and watches in despair)  
  
Layon: We are too late. Caain must have been destroyed…  
Amazing: No…He is alive…this much I know.  
Spaz: Then we must find and save him, for the good of the rebellion.  
Layon: but first we must leave this place the empire now knows of our location, and will no doubt attack our base shortly.  
  
(Shot of Caain aboard Fang's ship tied up as they are traveling through space)  
  
Caain: (fighting the ropes) what will happen to the planet? My friends?  
Fang: they will soon be fine….dead fine!! Hahahahaha!!  
Caain: uhhhh…okey. Whatever that means.  
  
  
One Week Later…  
  
(Shot of the Decadium sparrow leaving the planet with it's new crew, Captain Amazing, Spaz, Balaca, Princess Layon, and R2Detour. Amazing is piloting and Balaca is sitting playing with himself, Spaz is talking to Amazing)  
  
Amazing: Now that Caain is gone, I am the last of the Tungsten knights, and the greatest Tungsten in the galaxy.  
Spaz: I thought you said he was still alive?  
Amazing: (embarrassed) well, I mean, that Caain is…hey, what are we going to do now?  
Spaz: Well, we must rescue Caain, but only one man can tell us where the Empire is, and that man is Choda.  
Amazing: Choda? How would he know? He lives in a freakin swamp and talks to bushes.  
Spaz: Choda is not only a great Tungsten Master, but also an internet freak. Our intelligence tells us that he has already hacked the Empire's mainframe and knows the location of Caain.  
Layon: Wow what a loser!  
Amazing: Then why don't we just call him and ask him where it is?  
Spaz: shut up, I was just getting to that… Two days ago, Choda was abducted from his hut and taken to the palace of Gestapo the Slut…  
Amazing: any relation to Major Obese Gestapo?  
Spaz: actually, Gestapo the Slut is an old bounty hunter and was also a part of a band of strippers who performed nightly at the Galactic Playhouse! Ohh those where the days!  
Amazing: Quiet don't be so stupid and stop tell us about your personal life!!  
Spaz: Sorry Captain! Ohh yeah his career ended and he is now retired because he ate a little too much and to answer your question yes he is the Father of Major Obese.   
  
Two days later, on the planet Epson…  
  
(Shot of interior of Gestapo's palace. Choda is hanging up on the wall in a plastic bag. Gestapo is talking to his faithful servant, Pacholla, an alien servant from the planet Blllsssskooo)  
  
Gestapo The Slut: huh huh huh. I am so hungry, where is my slave girl?  
Pacholla: Massstarr, de slave she eesss no morrrreee.  
Gestapo: WHAAAA!!!  
Pacholla: You hafe eaten them allll, and there essssss no more…  
Gestapo: Then I must have the Bounty hunters, have them see me at once. Hu hu huh huh hu!  
Pacholla: They are acrosssss the rooommm masssstarrrr. You can see them from heeerrrreeeeeee..  
Gestapo: (hitting Pacholla away) Then I must sleep, let no one disturb the Futt…  
Pacholla: Yesssss massterrr, it will be done…  
  
(outside of the palace, Amazing, Spaz, Balaca, Layon, and R2Detour are preparing to enter the palace)  
  
Spaz: All right, this is the palace of Gestapo…  
Layon: Well, first Balaca, Spaz, and I shall enter and rescue Choda. Amazing, you and R2 Detour shall remain here and watch the ship.  
Amazing: But I could take this place on in my sleep. I am a great warrior, and one with the Porsche.  
Layon: Exactly, you are too important to the rebellion, and shall remain here. That is an order, Captain. If you defy me, you shall be stripped of your rank.  
Amazing: (directed toward Layon) Great then I guess I would just be AMAZING!  
Layon: (pushes Amazing) Quiet you don't blurt! And you will follow my orders or else!  
Amazing: (quietly) Shut your trap woman!  
Layon: Who said that!!!  
Amazing: (points to Spaz)  
Layon: (Smacks Spaz) (Amazing giggling) Now get your butt in-front of us and lead the way Spaz!!  
  
(Shots of Amazing getting bored, throwing rocks and stuff & waiting forever)  
  
Amazing: R2 Detour, I have the feeling that they need my help. Gestapo has probably over powered their attempts and taken Layon as a slave girl. I need your advise. (hits the button on his chest)  
R2Detour: (beeping noises and eventually a card pops out of him)  
Amazing: What's this? (opens and reads the card). It says, "Unsure, ask again later." What is this crap? Screw you, I'm going in. (puts on his hood, and looks down at his Ubernoodle).  
  
(Shot of Amazing going into and through the palace until he meets with Pacholla)  
  
Pacholla: Whoo arree you?  
Amazing: I am Captain Rukin Amazing, Tungsten knight and rebellion leader but I prefer to be called Captain Amazing.  
Pacholla: You are tressssspasssing, young Tungssssten. You cannnottt leave noww. It isss too latttte for thattttt now. You mussssttt die. (Pulls out concealed dagger)  
Amazing: (raises hand and fart noise comes out as Pacholla is sent against the wall, choking).  
  
(Shot of Amazing entering the throne room where he sees Balaca chained as a slave to Gestapo, Layon and Spaz are tied up, and Choda is still in his casing)  
  
Layon: Captain!! It's a trap!!  
Gestapo: SILENCE!! (petting Balaca) Welcome, Captain…  
Amazing: What are you doing to Balaca?  
Gestapo: He's my new friend ever since my Gaybo3T model droid crashed, The Futt has been awfully lonely.  
Amazing: I once had a Gaybo unit, but it was destroyed, in…an accident.  
Gestapo: Yes, I manufacture them here in this complex, but I had to… "lay off" burp my employees.  
Amazing: You sick man.  
Gestapo: hu, hu, hu…do you think your feeble Tungsten powers are a match for my greatness? You may be the last of the Tungsten, but Fang is not the last of the Dark knights. (pulls out his Double sided-Ubernoodle)  
Caain: (ghostly voice appears) remember your training!!  
  
(Battle ensues between them where, ultimately, Amazing wins)  
  
Gestapo: (laying on ground, defenseless) I am not beaten yet…(pulls out fork)  
Amazing: (ducks it and kills Gestapo with his Ubernoodle) And now my friends, we must free Choda.  
Balaca: Behind you!!  
(Amazing turns to see Pacholla)  
  
Pacholla: That was a triccck worthy of Paccchola, but you willllll not desssstroy me ssssso easssssily. My apprenticce was weak. I ammm nottt. (Pulls out (Red)Ubernoodle)  
  
  
(Battle between the two where Amazing barely wins, stabs Pachola in the stomach)  
  
Pacholla: Thisssss ssssssuckssssss…(keels over)  
Amazing: I must free Choda! (runs over and takes him out of the bag)…  
Choda: (in a weak voice) cough, cough. What place is this? Who is you?  
Amazing: You're safe now Choda! Quickly Choda! Where is Caain!! We must save Caain!!  
Choda: That bum? Why must you save him? Never him was good friend. Help you I will not!  
Amazing: um, I want to kill him, not save him… he, uhh, owes me money.  
Choda: In that case, tell you will I do! Planet Soweto is he on. Quick Quick, go now. Find him.  
Amazing: HA!! I am AMAZING!! Friend to Caain!! I will use this information to rescue him!!  
Choda: WHAT!! Lie to me you did!! Friend never will you be!! If not Tungsten were I, kill you I would!!  
Amazing: Choda, I am sorry, I never meant to dishonor you.  
Choda: Perhaps right you are, time to bury the hatchet it is. Ahh, we must be noble, for the same side are we on…  
  
(Suddenly Pacholla rises and kills Choda)  
  
Amazing: NOOO!!! (Rises and chops him down for good, then runs back to Choda)  
Choda: Tell Caain…He.. is.. friend…(dies, and then disappears)  
Amazing: I will never forget you Choda. (stands up and turns to his friends who have been watching on the hold time) Let's leave this place.  
  
(Shot of Amazing untying everyone and leading them back to the ship)  
  
ACT II  
  
ABOARD THE NEW HELL STAR  
  
Emperor Lastant: Ha ha ha ha ha ha the rebellion is doing what we thought they would do. I sense they killed the useless Gestapo he was not worthy to be called a Tungsten knight! Ha ha ha haha  
Chen Woo Fang: Master we have Caain under guard on planet Soweto what if they strike there? We will be screwed!  
Lastant: Silence you fool! They will not go to Soweto the Decadium Sparrow might not even be able to make it that far! And if they do make it to Soweto we will be there waiting for them!! Ha ha ha haha  
Lastant & Fang: (both laughing) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA   
Lastant: We will have our Revenge!!   
Fang: Damn it, you always say that. Shut up.  
  
(Shot of Caain tied up in his cell, looking desperate, covered with blood and stuff and pieces of cow meat)  
  
Caain: Amazing…where are you…(suddenly a ghost like Choda appears in front of him)  
Choda: Come will he, save will you be…faith must you have, talk like this must I.  
Caain: Choda! You, are dead. Then the Porsche has lost a great ally…  
Choda: Soon Rukin here will be, you must have faith, for he too is now…a…Tungsten knight. Now are you ready to face the Lastant, and Fang…together.  
  
(Shot of the Amazing, Layon, Balaca, Spaz, and R2-Detour aboard ship)  
  
Spaz: There it is, planet Soweto. I'm getting a reading of life forms, but not a great sign of technology…Just a few malls and 7-11's here and there.  
Amazing: Caain is here, and so is the Lastant.  
Layon: What about the Chinese fellow with the bulgy metal eyes? Fang?  
Amazing: Probably, I don't know, he's short, and the Porsche doesn't seem to like short people.  
Balaca: Raaaaa ha haha I oney have two question. Where am I? Can you feed Balaca? Balaca is hungry.  
Amazing: Shut up, don't make me kick you in the nuts.  
Balaca: you so stupid. Balaca is neutered. I have my nuts in a jar, want to see? Here de are. (drops them) Oh no!!  
Layon: What did I just step on?  
Balaca: No! dat was my favorite one. Now it will never fit Balaca.  
Amazing: Layon, tie him to something. And you Spaz take over the flight controls and land us on planet Soweto!!  
  
(Shot of the Decadium sparrow heading off, then making it to planet Soweto. They are on the planet and walking about)  
  
Layon: Where are the Imperial forces?  
Spaz: The ship sensors put it at about two miles that way.  
Amazing: Then we must head off. We have no time to spare.  
Balaca: dis place is dark and scary, Balaca is glad he brought lucky head. (holds up Gaybo's head)  
Amazing: Wha-where did you get that?!!  
Balaca: I find it in Caain's things, it had big cuts and scars on it, Balaca fix good. Still not work dough, body is gone. Caain took out, kicked it. It was funny. Na ha ha.  
Amazing: Caain said he was on vacation, I always suspected he was always jealous of that robot…  
Layon: Quite this bickering, we must be on our way.  
Amazing: Sorry, your highness.  
Layon: You best be sorry.  
Spaz: let's go.  
  
(Shots of them waking for a while)  
  
Amazing: Spaz, did you hear that?  
Spaz: yea, Balaca keeps farting.  
Balaca: haha, that was funny, Balaca can do more if you like.  
Amazing: shut up, there's something out there…  
Layon: This is absurd, there's no one (crack of a twig)…perhaps I spoke to soon…  
Spaz: Yea, women are always doing that. They should keep their mouth's shut.  
Layon: (punches him in the stomach)  
Amazing: quiet…We need to check the surroundings  
  
(Shot of two porn troopers sitting in a dark cave, playing cards, porn music in back ground)  
  
Porn Trooper1: hey man, this jig is wack.  
PT2: I am stinky porn!!  
PT1: dude, without my drugs and my magazines, this planet would be serious suck. I jus can't take you, foo. What the hell is a stinky porn any ways?  
PT2: I am stinky porn!!(twig cracks) Look, I am still stinky porn!!  
PT1: hey, shut yo trippin' mouth, foo. I hear something out there. You tink we should radio this wack bisnach in?  
PT2: No!!! because I'm Stinky porn!!  
PT1: Ok foo but what evea, you trippin!!  
  
(Now shot of Amazing and his Crew)  
  
Amazing: That Cave looks dangerous!!! I think I better go it alone from here!!  
Layon: But Captain…you cant that is an order!!  
Amazing: To hell with the orders!! You said that last time and remember what happened!!  
Layon: Ohh yeah!! Forgot, sorry my bad.  
Amazing: Good now you three go back to the Ship and wait for me with the cargo bay open!! I will be out soon with Caain so wait and don't worry may the Porsche be with you!!  
Layon: Ok Captain! I'm on top of it.  
Spaz: (low voice) Yeah she's on top of everything.  
Layon: (Punches Spaz in the stomach) Quiet you retard!!  
Balaca: Hey I thought I was only retard!!??!! I want to be only RETARD!!   
Layon: Shut up and lets go back to the ship!  
  
(Shot of Amazing's crew walking to the ship)  
  
Amazing: Holy Hell what did I get myself into now! Damn it! ( Shot of Amazing walking toward the cave and now entering it porn music getting louder) Wow, this cave is very amazing like me I'm amazing!! What is that sound? It sounds like music? It is it's…..Bad Porn music! Geesh talk about budget cuts! The empire can't even afford good music!  
  
(Back to Porn Troopers)  
  
PT1: Hey dawg ya hear dat??  
PT2: Yes that's stinky porn!!  
PT1: Fool you stupid it sounds like foot steps? Well what evea who cares! Hey Shitty porn or what evea ya names is gits over here! Lets play cards here there is moo light!  
PT2: I stinky porn!!  
PT1: Shut yo ass foo and gits over here!! (Shot of Porn troopers walking away from Caain and go to another room)  
  
(Back to Amazing walking down the Dark cave)  
  
Amazing: I see a light ? and a stool? What the hell is a stool doing in the middle of a cave? (walks closer and sees a booby trap!) whow! Wheew I almost triggered that trap.   
Wait…..theirs Caain right there! Yes coolness!! (yells to Caain) Hey Caain!! It's me Amazing!  
Caain: Amazing watch out don't trigger that trap!!  
  
(Indiana Jones Music Playing (low))  
  
Amazing: Don't worry I didn't I'm coming for you right now!!  
Caain: NOOOOOO!! Wait!!!! You have to take the statue of the Lastant off of that stool! That is the key to the cage!! And then come and open up the cage!!  
Amazing: Ok got ya!! I think……..  
  
(Shot of Amazing getting ready to switch the Lastant statue with a bag of sand)  
  
Amazing: There it worked I think!  
  
(Shot of Amazing with key in hand wiping off sweat from his forehead and suddenly pieces of wood and rocks and stuff start to fall from the ceiling of the cave)   
  
Caain: Crap!! Hurry and unlock the cage there are porn troopers here!  
  
(Running to the cage to unlock it)  
  
Amazing: What!!!???!! Why didn't you say so in the first place!!!  
Caain: Sorry I guess I just uhh…forgot!  
Amazing: Damn we need to get out of here and quick!  
Caain: Yes we do the bag of sand did not have enough sand in it!! This cave will fall apart in a while we have to hurry and get out of here!!  
Amazing: That's what I said so lets hurry up and go!  
Caain: (Searching around cage) Oh no!! I need my Ubernoodle they must have taken it!!  
Amazing: Don't worry about it we can get another one from Sears!  
Caain: They don't sell them at sears you dumb ass!! WAIT!!! There it is I see it the Fat Porn trooper has it!!!  
Amazing: Ok lets go get it we don't have much time!!  
  
(Shot of Amazing and Caain sneaking to the room where the Porn Troopers are and running in and Caain pushing the Fat one and Taking back his Ubernoodle)  
  
  
(Indiana Jones Music gets higher)  
  
Caain: There I got it!!  
PT2: Owww that hurt stinky porn!!!! Stinky Porn Mad!!!  
  
(Shot of Stinky Porn (PT2) rolling after Caain and Amazing like a ball in the Indiana Jones Movie{Raiders of the lost Arc})  
  
Amazing: Man, lets get out of here he doesn't look too happy  
Caain: Duh I could have told you that!  
  
(Shot of Caain and Amazing running for like 30 sec. Being chased by the rolling Porn Trooper)  
  
Amazing: (out of breath) Holy cow!! This Sucks!!  
Caain: How do you expect us to get off of the planet?  
Amazing: The Decadium Sparrow is waiting for us at the end of this cave! I just hope that, that stupid retard Balaca did slow down the others and screw things up!!  
Caain: Faster we need to Hurry that Porn Trooper is gaining on us!!  
Amazing: Ok lets speed it up!  
  
(Shot of Caain and Amazing running out of the cave and to the ship and both jumping in)  
(Shot of ship taking off and PT2 yelling "I MAD STINKY PORN!!!")  
  
  
(Now to inside of the ship the Decadium Sparrow)  
  
Amazing: wheww that was a close one!!  
Caain: Yes but now we are all safe!  
Layon: That's Good great and Groovy and all but no one really cares!! We have more important information. Captain well you were off doing what ever we recieved a transmission from Commander Batron saying that we need to get to the senate chambers Imediately! He said he had information regarding the whereabouts of Fang and Lastant!!  
Caain: Good job! Amazing why don't you fly us back to Rayola and we will get our information! Meanwhile I can clean up my wounds.  
Amazing: ROGER THAT CAAIN!! I'm right on it!! (Caain leaves the room) Good he's gone, Spaz you take over I don't feel like flying anymore too much for me!  
Spaz: But……  
Amazing: No buts I've heard and seen too many butts today! Now fly that's an order!!  
Spaz: Whatever…..(Fade out)  
  
ACT III  
  
2 DAYS LATER……..  
  
ABOARD THE FINISHED HELL STAR  
  
(Shot of Lastant sitting in his chair)  
  
(Dark and Red Light)  
  
(Empire Music Starts)  
  
Lastant: HA HA HA HA Soon we will move in to place. And strike down upon the Rebel Alliance when they least expect it!!! HA HA HA HA  
Fang: God Damn it stop laughing!!! You tink das funny?  
Lastant: HA HA HA HA……Wait? What did you say ya immigrant?  
Fang: Sorry Master.  
Lastant: Yes, Sorry indeed everyone will be sorry once they feel the power of the newly constructed HELL STAR. This is a perfect time to strike the Rebellion because they are week….now that Caain is in our possession and then we will…………  
  
(Shot of Nefarious Running through the doors of the Throne Room)  
  
Nefarious: Sir I have some very bad news.  
Lastant: What is it? Tell me Nefarious!  
Nefarious: We have conformation that Caain has been rescued from Soweto by Captain Amazing.  
Lastant: Damn that Amazing!!  
Nefarious: I guess he is just too Amazing for us! He slips through our hands every time.  
Lastant: (Rises up to his feet fast) Silence you fool!! Are you questioning the power of the Dark side?  
Nefarious: No sir I wasn't. (goes to one knee)I apologize please forgive me.  
  
(Silence for about 3-4 seconds)  
  
Fang: Master I have plan!!  
Lastant: What is it?  
Fang: I think we have a chance to weaken the defenses of the Rebellion even more!  
Lastant: How?  
Nefarious: Yeah how? What's your Plan?  
Fang: We can go down to the Planet Rayola and attempt to steal Caain and Amazing's Ubernoodles, thus making them powerless!  
Lastant: Very good I'm impressed Fang! But who exactly is "WE"?  
Fang: I was thinking that Nefarious and I could go and Break in to the Decadium Sparrow and wait for them to put down their Ubernoodles so that we can take the!  
Qui: And what makes you think I would want to go?  
Lastant: QUIET!!! STOP THIS BICKERING!! I believe I know the reason why Fang what's you to go with him Nefarious.  
Nefarious: What reason would that be? Please inform me.  
Lastant: I'll tell you the reason why he want's you to go. The reason is because you are very skilled with the new and more powerful double-sided Ubernoodle and are also one with the Dark Side of the Porsche.  
Nefarious: This is true but my skills have not been used for a while Emperor.  
Lastant: Well improve them because the both of you will depart for your quest in two days so be READY!!  
Nefarious: Soon we will reveal our selves to the Tungsten. Soon we will have our revenge!  
Fang: Ok Emperor we'll be ready!  
Lastant: Yes we will all be Ready HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!  
  
(FADE OUT)  
  
(End Empire Music)  
  
2 DAYS LATER  
  
MEANWHILE BACK ON THE DECADIUM SPARROW…….  
  
(Inside of ship)  
  
Amazing: Geesh after two days of recovering we are almost to Rayola to meet with the Bacterial Senate again:  
Caain: Yes my good friend I feel much better now, thank you for making a heroic rescue Amazing!  
Amazing: No problem Caain it was cake except for when that fat Porn Trooper was rolling after us! Was it just me or did he stink?  
Caain: He stunk all right that's why his name was Stinky Porn!  
Amazing: Here we are planet Rayola home of the Rebellion.  
Caain: Yes lets hurry and make it to the Senate Chambers. We are very late, we should have been here 4 days ago.  
Amazing: Don't worry Caain we will be there on time.  
Caain: I hope so that Batron is a freaking jerk!!  
  
  
(Shot of Amazing and Caain Running through halls and busting through the doors of the Senate Chamber)  
  
Senator Conrad: What the heck took you two so long?  
  
Amazing: We…we.. had… to .. make …a few s..tops on the…way to.. Rayola….  
Senator Gamblink : What's this fool trying to spit out?  
Caain: What my out of shape friend is trying to say here is that we had to make a couple of stops on the way to Rayola so that we could address to my wounds that I had.  
Amazing: Yeah that's it!  
Senator Skywalker: Welcome you two. You were called here so that you could be informed about so new information that has surfaced in the last 4 days. We found out that….  
Senator Cortex: What my good companion is trying to spit out is that we have gotten information about the whereabouts of the new and more powerful Hell Star.  
Amazing: Well where is it?  
Senator Skywalker: Tubby you care to put down the food and answer the Captain's question?  
Senator Tubby: (looks around) WHAT? Ohh…(puts down food)..yeah he he forgot about the food. Well Caain and Amazing the whereabouts were found and they say that the Hell Star is located near the Desert Planet known as Otterpopooine.  
Amazing: WOW that's uhhh amazing!  
Senator Gamblink : Yes the Hell Star also had energy readings off the charts. That's what we here in the Senate is afraid of.   
Caain: Yes I have a feeling about it too. (Shuts eyes: everyone staring) WAIT!!!! HOLD ON!! I fell a great disturbance in the Porsche!! I had a Porsche vision it was Fang and ohh no….  
Amazing: what? Why oh no?  
Caain: It is Fang and one of the most powerful Dark knights……  
Amazing: (with anticipation)WHO?!  
Caain: His name is Nefarious some say that he is as powerful as the Emperor himself! (Eyes closed) I can see them they are in the Decadium Sparrow and they are attempting to find our……….  
Amazing: our……OH no!! OUR UBERNOODLES!!! I don't have mine!  
Caain: Me either! Lets go Amazing!   
  
(Shot of Caain & Amazing Running back to Decadium Sparrow)  
(Shot of Caain & Amazing arriving at the Decadium Sparrow)  
  
Caain: Stop!! (Uses the Porsche to throw a brick at Fang)  
Fang: What? Who is that? (Looks at Caain gets hit in Stomach with brick) Oww damn it that hurt!  
Amazing: (talking to Caain) I'm here Caain, Here I'll go and you hold off Fang and I will try to get into the Decadium Sparrow to get our Ubernoodles.  
Caain: Be careful Amazing and remember your training!  
Amazing: I will….   
  
(Shot of Amazing getting to Decadium Sparrow and walks inside it and sees the Ubernoodles)   
  
Amazing: YES!!! I see them (Grabs the Ubernoodles)(Steps out of D.S.) Caain I got them!  
Caain: Good Throw me mine!  
Amazing: ok…….. (Talking to self) what was that sound? (Turns around) Ohh myyy goddddd? Who are you?  
Nefarious: (Evil voice) I am Nefarious! Powerful Dark knight.  
Amazing: (Gulp)(takes deep Breath) Ok well I gotta go! See ya! (runs toward Caain)  
(Amazing beginning to run away from Nefarious)  
Nefarious: Wait!!!! (Grabs Amazing's arm) It is time to feel the Power of the dark side!!! (Extends Double-sided Ubernoodle)  
Amazing: Uh oh! (Quickly throws Caain's Ubernoodle to Caain & Amazing Extends Ubernoodle) HA! Now we fight!  
Nefarious: If you wish to die a quick and Painful death! Ha ha ha ha!!  
Amazing: Hey that's enough out of you!! Lets do this! (They clash Ubernoodles once then pan over to Caain and Fang)  
  
(To Caain and Fang Fighting)  
  
(Caain and Fang clash their might Ubernoodles)  
  
Fang: You will never win with your silly little Tungsten powers you are weak.  
Caain: At least I'm not Korean.  
Fang: God damit I am not Korean!  
Caain: Fine at least I don't make shoes.  
Fang: That is Tibet you god damn American!  
  
(Pan back to Amazing and Nefarious)  
  
Nefarious: I see your skills are great young one.  
Amazing: No, they're amazing like me.   
Nefarious: Well excuse me Mr. Fancy paints now you die!  
Amazing: I think not...   
  
(Just as the Ubernoodles clash Nefarious' double bladed Ubernoodle shorts out as the light flickers off)  
  
Nefarious: Son of a bitch this always happens when I am fighting... Time out!  
Amazing: You can't call time out!  
Nefarious: Yes I can and I say time out... I think the batteries are dead hold on.   
  
(Pats around for batteries)  
  
Nefarious: Hey you wouldn't happen to have two C batteries would you?  
Amazing: You're the bad guy, I can't give you batteries! Fine....   
  
(Pats around for batteries)  
  
Amazing: What the hell do I look like a frickin 7-11. (pause) Hey Caain do you have some C batteries?  
Caain: What? No who do you think I am the Energizer bunny? (Caain Checks his Pockets for Batteries then looks at Fang) Hey, what about you woo fat?  
Fang: Ohh yes here I have battery.   
  
(Throws batteries at Nefarious)  
  
Nefarious: Well its about time! Ok Time in…  
Amazing: You have been hanging out with the Porn troopers too much.  
Nefarious: Screw you!  
Amazing: You just better recognize that's all.  
Nefarious: Now you die!  
  
  
(They [Amazing and Nefarious] continue to fight then pan over to Caain as he loses his balance and falls to the ground)  
  
Caain: Do it quickly...  
Fang: Fuck you, I will do it slowly.  
Caain: Sick dude you silly Japanese are always being gross.  
Fang: What? What? What I say... ohhh you son of bitch I kill you!  
  
(Fang raises Ubernoodle to stab Caain)  
Amazing: Nooooooo!!!  
  
(Amazing jumps at Fang and hits him in the head)  
  
Fang: What the Heck is this you can't stab me this is my movie look at the title!  
  
(Fang whips out script and shows Amazing)  
  
Fang: Look! What it say? Huh? What it say?  
Amazing: (under breath) The Revenge of Fang blah blah blah! ( swings Ubernoodle)  
Fang: That it, now I know I go. (Fang runs away)  
Caain: Watch out!   
  
(Amazing ducks out of the path of the Double-bladed Ubernoodle)  
  
Nefarious: You are weak and pitiful just like your father!  
Amazing: Geesh! I was raised by Lesbians how many times do I have to say that! Even in the future people discriminate I am so mad I could protest right now!  
Nefarious: Lesbians huh?  
Amazing: If you don't shut your cake hole I will break your knee backwards and feed you your foot!  
Nefarious: ohhh big words but not as big as this.   
  
(Nefarious waves double-bladed Ubernoodle around)  
  
(Amazing and Nefarious continue to fight)  
  
Caain: Remember your training!  
Amazing: Like I'm gonna forget, you always say that...  
  
(A ship fly's overhead as everyone looks up)  
  
Nefarious: I will get you next time... (Evil laugh as he disappears onto the ship)  
Amazing: Damn I was kicking ass! (helps Caain up)   
Caain: Shut up I will crush your head with my powers!  
Amazing: We should get back to the Bacterial Senate.  
Caain: You go, I'll catch up, I need to…meditate for a minute…  
Amazing: Roger that. (runs off)  
Caain: (looks to see if he is gone, once he is sure, he turns around and takes a leak) Ohhh yea. Ahhh…(then he runs after Amazing)  
  
(at the Bacterial Senate. Everyone is sitting around and Balaca is hitting his head against the door)  
  
Balaca: We are stuck. HELP LET ME OUT!!! HELP BALACA!!  
  
(door opens and Balaca is smashed behind it)  
  
  
  
Amazing: We're back, and just in the nick of time. Now we have to act quickly.  
Senator Skywalker: I agree totally Amazing.  
Senator Gamblink: You haven't much time you two so I would start getting on the good foot. The Fate of the rebellion is resting in your hands men, good luck and may the Porche be with you ohh yeah and don't forget to get that retard from behind the door.  
Amazing: Lets go caain.  
  
(Shot of Caain and Amazing leaving the Bacterial Senate chambers and walking to the Decadium Sparrow)  
  
Caain: (walking to D.S.)We must attack now, if we follow Fang, we can navigate our way onto the new hell star, and face the Lastant.  
Layon: But you are out numbered, and they have the power of the…DOUBLE SIDED UBERNOODLE.  
Caain: That is true, but we have a secret weapon. One whose power remains unmatched through out the galaxy.  
Amazing: What is this weapon?  
Caain: It is not important now, let's get moving.  
  
(their ship mobilizing to attack the new Hell Star)  
  
(shot aboard the deck of the Hell Star, in the Lastant's chambers)  
  
Lastant: My servants, you have done well.  
Nefarious: Lastant, I do not understand, we could have easily defeated Amazing together, why did you not want us to?  
Lastant: FOOL!!! Fang, punish him. (Fang punches him in the stomach)  
Fang: ohhhh, whats up now, biatch?  
Lastant: Watch your damn mouth!! (punches Fang in the stomach) And in answer to your question, I wanted them to follow you to my Hell Star.  
Fang: What?  
Lastant: HAHAHA!!! You see, after our defeat at the hands of the Tungsten last movie, our funds have greatly decreased. It is my intent to televise the final battle between you and the Tungsten live on Pay-per-view, but you see you will not kill the tungsten you will kidnap the princess and we will hold the final, final battle later!! The T-shirt sales alone will more than cover the cost of my Hell Star, and your fancy metallic suit, Fang.  
Fang: Fancy my ass!! This piece of crap? I look like a freakin' moron.  
Lastant: Shut up. Don't make me take your magazines back.  
Fang: oh, I'm sorry.  
Lastant: Sorry indeed…DAMN sorry…HAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!  
  
(back to the Decadium Sparrow  
  
(inside the Decadium Sparrow)  
  
Amazing: We are approaching the Hell Star, all units stand by and be ready, hold off on the attack until we have destroyed the Dark Tungsten and are safe on board the Sparrow Then I will give the signal for firing upon the Hell Star. (in the back ground, a faint radio can be heard, saying "Roger that Amazing").  
  
(Ship flying to Hell Star)  
(two entering the inside of the ship)  
  
Lastant: Welcome, I've been expecting you…  
Announcer: Let's get ready to ruuuummmmmmmmbbbbbllllllleeeeeee!!!!  
  
(techno music starts)  
Amazing: What is this crap?  
Caain: It's all clear now. This Hell Star is just a ploy to get us naked!! Lastant you diabolical fiend!!  
Lastant: NO!! Stupid!! KILL!!! KILL!!!! DAMN IT, MORONS!! DIE!!  
  
(Fang and Nefarious come over to fight with Amazing and Caain)  
  
Nefarious: Ha Ha its time that we have meet for the final showdown!  
Amazing: I think not ass!  
Caain: Hey watch your mouth bitch.  
Amazing: Sorry slut bag.  
Caain: Alright Amazing its time for the secret weapon.  
Amazing: Ohh Ok sweet, lets see it  
Caain: (Dramatic point in the music) It's Time to Feel the Wrath Of This…………………….(Whips out a Red Otter Pop) HAHAHAHA  
  
*Silent Pause*  
  
Amazing: What the hell are we gonna do with an otter pop?  
Caain: uhh We can eat it….that sounds like fun.  
Amazing: Ohh my god……………well did you at least bring two…..?  
Caain: Damn I knew I forgot something  
Caain: You wanna lick my Popsicle?  
Amazing: No maybe when we get back to the ship.  
Amazing: But right now we have bigger Popsicles to lick………  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  



End file.
